Confounding Midgardian Devices
by IRegretNothingNoMore
Summary: Loki needs a shower...And Barton LOVES pranks.


Tony walked into the Avenger's tower's common kitchen. Even though everyone practically had their own floor (Thor and Loki shared a floor), everyone tended to use the top floor as a sort of common floor. Tony was just through the doorway when something slimy on the hardwood floor caused him to slip and fall on his back. He quickly stood back up and stepped to the side to avoid anymore slipping. On the ground lay a trail of what looked like grease. Like a hound on the hunt, the 'Iron Detective' followed the greasey trail through the kitchen and straight to a pair of black leather boots. Then he straightened up and discovered that the leather perpetraitors were being worn by a green clad god.

"Something wrong, Anthony Stark?" Loki asked in his smooth voice. He had been allowed to stay here and help clean up the 'damage' he had done, and in return, the Allfather had taken all his magic power. Now the Avengers were stuck babysitting the bitter god. They did this without complaint for Thor. The big guy had really grown on everyone.

"Why, may I ask, are you dripping a trail of grease on _my_ expensive, hardwood floors?" Stark replied with his usual snarky arrogance. Fortunately for the two, Barton wasn't around to stand in the background with a bowl of popcorn. He seemed to think they were a _damn_ show. Loki chose to ignore the billionare and went back to his nutella on a croissant roll. Midgard might be an annoying liitle shithole, but they had a certain flare for food.

"Good god. Is all that grease _coming from your hair?_!" Tony blurted. Loki almost dropped his precious dish. He turned to Stark, trying to look indignant. After a few seconds of glaring Loki gave a sigh of resignation and Tony let out a bark of laughter.

"I use magic to take care of my hair." Loki spat, and quickly began to walk off. Tony cut him off.

"Nuh, uh." He put his hands up. "No way are you gonna walk around _my_ tower leaving disgusting trails." Stark told him. Then he pointed a finger at him. "_You_, need a shower." He ordered.

"A, _what_?!" Loki sputtered.

"A shower. In the bathroom. You do know what a bathroom is, don't you?" Stark demanded. Loki gave him a blank look. Tony sighed and showed him to the bathroom on the common floor.

"Now go use the one on your floor." Tony ordered as he shooed Loki off.

Loki grudgingly walked to the bathroom on his floor, muttering Asgardian curses under his breath. When he got there he looked around for a few seconds before giving up.

"Thor!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. His big, _'brother'_, walked in with his booming gait.

"What ails you, my brother?" Thor asked with his usual smile plastered on his face. Loki groaned.

"Apparently, Tony thinks I need a _'shower'_." he spat with contempt. Thor let out a booming laugh.

"I agree with the Man of Iron, brother. You reek worse than a bilgesnipe!" He chuckled. Loki glared.

"Well, then. Kindly tell me how to use these Midgardian Contraptions." Loki grit his teeth. He never liked asking for help, but if he got into any trouble, he'd be sent back to the Allfather. Thor stepped in and leaned over the tub.

"Well you turn the nob like this." he explained as he turned the nob on the faucet. It broke off with a snap. Thor frowned. "I suppose you'll have to use someone else's brother."

"Thor, in the speech of Midgardian's, 'You're an idiot'." Loki sighed. Just then Barton popped his head in.

"What's up?" Barton asked. Loki was about to tell him to mind his own buisness when Thor cut him off and explained the problem. Barton laughed as Thor waved the faucet around.

"Here, Golden Boy can use my bathroom and I'll show him how to use it." Barton suggested a mischevious glint in his eye. Thor nodded and left, and Loki eyed Clint with a suspicious feeling. Clint led Loki there the long confusing way making him very suspicious about the archer's real motives.

Finally after many stairs and identical hallways they ended up at another bathroom. Clint opened the door and ushered Loki in.

"Here, you use it like this." Clint explained as he turned the nob a little bit to let some water out. "The farther you turn it, the hotter the water. Enjoy." Clint walked out closing the door behind him.

Natasha walked through Stark tower's halls. Turning a corner she ran straight into Clint.

"Barton." She nodded.

"Tasha." he smirked. Then they went their separate ways. Natasha turned another corner and found her room. She quickly grabbed a change of clothes and headed for the restroom. She turned the knob, opened the door, and walked into see...Loki. Dressed in his normal gear, staring at the shower head, not moving, as water fell on him.

"LOKI!" Natasha screamed. Loki gave a start and looked over in surprise.

"Oh, Agent Romanoff." he began, putting his hands up in a calming gesture.

"WHY. ARE. YOU. IN MY. RESTROOM." She demanded, calmly aiming her pistols at him.

"Now, Agent Romanoff, I can explain myself-" Loki gave a nervous smile.

"Get. Out." Natasha ordered through clenched teeth. Loki slowly stepped out of the shower, the water sliding down his leather clothes and making a puddle on the floor. Natasha kept her pistols aimed at him as he walked backwards out of the room and ran straight into a wall. Then she slammed the door in him face and locked it. Loki quickly put his hands down and stormed off.

"Barton."He muttered angrily under his breath.

Tony walked into the Avenger's tower's common kitchen. Tony was just through the doorway when something slippery on the hardwood floor caused him to slip and fall on his back.

"LOKI!" he screeched.

FIN


End file.
